Hong Huang on “Ugly Women”
Friday, July 29, 2011 | By: Liz Tung (董怡)
Media mogul Hong Huang gets saucy in this piece on why “ugly women shouldn’t be virtuous.” This is the first installment of our exclusive translation series on female bloggers in China.
For our women’s issue, I wrote an article about female bloggers in China. Of the many women I investigated, three stood out as interesting thinkers who write sharp, ballsy commentary on controversial subjects—Hong Huang, Muzi Mei, and Li Yin He. Though the article excerpted short passages from each writer’s blog, none of these even come close to doing justice to the originals. And so, as promised, here is the first of three translations of full blog posts. This one is by media mogul Hong Huang, a former television host, actress, author, New York Times columnist and current publisher of the fashion magazine iLook. By the end of this post, if you don’t know whether to laugh or be offended, then our translation has hit the mark.
“Ugly Women Should Not Be Virtuous”
Originally published April 28, 2006 on Hong’s Sina blog
There are a lot of women out there who can make men laugh, and if they’re ugly, they won’t easily be forgotten either. Pretty girls all look, talk, and act the same. Girls with a sense of humor easily become the confidantes of men. Men are willing to bear their deepest thoughts with these kinds of women, pour the suffering from the depths of their guts out, even make these women their guy friends. They’ll ask these girls their questions about women. Funny, ugly girls absolutely will not be lacking in male friends, they’ll have a group of “guy friends.” But there aren’t a lot of guys who would be willing to bring a female Hou Bao Lin back home to marry. They also won’t have too active a sex life. Men’s biggest fear is that while having sex a woman will start laughing. He won’t know what the woman is laughing at, and will think she’s laughing at him. Especially when naked, his mind will immediately go there. It’ll really injure his self esteem. So funny women have a lot of fair-weather friends, but not too many lovers.
If ugly women have a lot of money, they’ll find themselves surrounded by men. But they’re not the same as funny women; these men don’t want to be her friend or buddy, they all want to marry her, no matter how ugly she is. At this time, she needs a little “ugly woman wisdom,” and look inside her heart. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding a man who loves money, but she must always be wary, the days will all be tiring. If an ugly rich woman can look on the bright side of things, then her life will actually pass quite comfortably. She can pursue lovers as she pleases, and taste them all without ever marrying. This is considered a real skill.
Really ugly women definitely should not engage in learning. If you are both ugly and learned, it’s completely hopeless. If men are already not looking at you, if you’re educated they’ll be even more afraid. So it’ll become harder and harder to meet men, and you’ll just end up hiding out in your lab, never coming out. So I actually suggest that pretty women increase their level of education; this will just be the icing on the cake. Ugly women definitely should not go for a doctorate.
As far as cosmetic surgery, makeup, fitness, etc., they’re all deceptive things. For men, “artificial beauty” can be a psychological barrier to sleep, not to mention marriage. I have a friend who told me that since his wife got a breast augmentation, he’s been having these nightmares that his wife’s breasts were moved up to her shoulders.
Makeup is also of no use, you can’t wear it 24 hours a day. And as for fitness, it is also nonsense. As soon as you start bulking up, men will start getting nervous that you’re going to beat them up. Usually, your girlfriends will encourage you to go do these kinds of things, and while this is a reasonable thing to do for yourself, don’t expect men to appreciate it.
The most hopeless of all is the ugly, virtuous woman. It’s over – definitely don’t listen to those lies about “inner beauty.” If you have a beautiful heart but no looks, there are some people who will hire you as a nanny, but no one who will make you his wife. And those people who are beautiful to death, evil and oily people are always scooped up and taken home, taken care of well by men. Over the years, virtue has been the greatest disadvantage of women, and in the end all bad luck is just suffering from virtue.
He’s a street cleaner and a wildly successful blogger. Check him out.