So, you just came to China and are you are the process of learning basic Chinese. But let’s be honest, the things you are most interested in learning are not written in school books. You, like the rest of the world, want curse words, pick-up lines and sexual slang. So, how are you supposed to find these dirty words, you know the ones that will come in handy when you are on the prowl in Wudaokou, or Sanlitun? Well, there are at least three books that might be able to help you: Niubi!: The Real Chinese You Were Never Taught in School, by Eveline Chao,; Making Out in Chinese by Ray Daniels; and Dirty Chinese: Everyday slang from ” What’s Up?” to” F*%# Off!” by Matt Coleman.
Making Out is probably the best if you are on the look-out to get some action with members of the opposite (or same) sex. It’s comprehensive but suffers from not using standardized pinyin. Daniels instead devises his own phonetic system, which isn’t much use for serious Chinese learners (not that that is why you would buy this book). Dirty Chinese is the filthiest book of the lot, contain graphic descriptions, many of which are far too lewd for a sweet-natured magazine such as The World Of Chinese to publish, but what the hell. We are going to give you a few anyway:
Get busy – 炒饭 (Chǎofàn) which literally means “to fry rice’
I’m getting horny – 我发春了（Wǒ fā chūnle） is used usually for women, can also mean something like “I’m in heat”; meanwhile for men is 我硬了(Wǒ yìngle) it literally means I am getting hard.
Touch my… – 摸我的。。。（Mō wǒ de）
Lick my… – 舔我的 （Tiǎn wǒ de）
Spank my… – 抽我的。。。（Chōu wǒ de）
Penis – 阳物 （Yáng wù）
Titties – 秘密( Mìmì) literally “secret”
Fellatio – 口活 (Kǒuhuó). The first component means “mouth” while the second character has a number of meanings, but in this case means “work”.
Missionary position – 正体位 (Zhèngtǐ wèi)
Cowgirl – 骑乘位 (Qí chéng wèi). This is a Japanese-loan phrase; literally “mount and ride”.
Masturbation for men- 打飞机 (Dǎ fēijī). Literally “hit the plane”. This one is quite funny because in Taiwan “dǎ fēijī” means to catch a plane. They prefer 打枪 (Dǎqiāng) “to shoot a gun”.
Flat-chested – 飞机场（Fēijī chǎng）actually it means airport as you might have heard before, but in this case it explained “as flat as the airport runway”, while 波霸 (Bōbà) means curvy.
So, there you are. I’m sure you are feeling suitably outraged and hot-under-the-collar. Do let us know if there is anything we have missed.
The illustration by Arthur de Pins. Courtesy of 楔子li on weibo.