A lot of Westerners think it is cool to have a Chinese character tattoo, and more often than not the plan is to have some deep philosophical meaning reflecting the wisdom of the East. Sadly, it rarely works out like that.
Celebrities are no exception, and many a TWOC reader knows that having a Chinese tattoo is, well, lame, but let’s take a look at some celebrities that have tried to work it. Some succeed, but some fail, badly fail.
David Beckham is guaranteed to take the phwoar factor to to 11, and is one of the hottest soccer players to have ever lived, though perhaps not the most talented, but who cares about that?
This English Adonis is more inky than stinky, and many of his tats are dedicated to his wife Victoria and his children. Except for one of his biggest tattoos: a Chinese proverb 生死有命，富贵在天 (shēngsǐ yǒu mìng, fùguì zài tiān), which means “Life and death rests in the hands of fate. Rich and noble arranged by God.” Er, yeah David.
Beckham proves quite the package
Some people think Justin Timberlake is a bit of a dick, but you must admit he looks hot covered in all that in—don’t you think? Too bad these weren’t real, but part of his disguise for his role in the movie Alpha Dog.
Yet another Alpha male
That most hated of celebrities, Justin Bieber has added a few tattoos on his body (attempt) to look more masculine, but it didn’t really work. The youthful superstar has the Chinese character 怂 (sǒng) on his body; he thinks that it means “to follow your heart”, but perhaps he wanted to write “从” (cóng, to follow) and “心” (xīn, heart) separately, so that it actually made a bit more sense. The actual meaning of this character is closer to “scared” or “terrified”, which is how a lot of us feel when we look at this particular brainless little twerp.
The internationally recognized douchebag
The bootylicious (what does that even mean?) rapper Nicki Minaj has a Chinese tattoo that means “God is always with you”, which is pretty religious for somebody who constantly raps about her ass.
A manly woman
NBA star Allen Hughes has a tattoo 忠 (zhōng) that means means “loyalty” or “faithfulness” on his neck. Is it just a coincidence that another NBA star Larry Hughes has the same tattoo on his leg, or are they engaged in a hidden homosexual love pact?
This guy’s got balls
The sexiest Captain America ever, hottie Chris Evans, tattooed 氏 (shì) on his right bicep, believing that the character represents “family”, only he forgot the fact that in the Chinese language 氏 means “family” only if written after an actual surname, like 王氏 (wáng shì), which means “Wang Family”, but without the surname in front, the tattoo is effectively meaningless. Thank God he removed it!
Mr. Smug, working it
Megan Fox, the young Angelina Jolie wannabe, has the character 力 (lì) on the back of her neck, which means strength, both physical or mental.
When you have a neck this long…
The sexiest actress alive, Angelina Jolie, had the Chinese character 死 (sǐ) meaning “death”, during her rebel days. Now, the mother of six and UN ambassador has removed the tattoo.
She hasn’t got it anymore
Russian tennis player Marat Safin tattooed character 猴 (hóu) on his right arm, which means “monkey”. Probably because Safin’s Chinese astrology sign is the Monkey, but who knows right?
Raw simian power
Fabio Cannavaro, one of the most famous Italian soccer players of his era, has a Chinese tattoo on his upper back 瑪丁娜 (Mǎdīngnà) in honor of his daughter Martina.
Anyone fancy a bite of Italian?
Even though the biting boxer legend Mike Tyson does not have a Chinese tattoo, ever-loving commie iconography, he has a tattoo of communist leader Mao Zedong (毛泽东) on his right arm.
Who is a cute little pussy cat?
So there you have it, various celebrities covered in ink. Who have we missed？
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