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Battle of the Squares

Residents use 'non-lethal' weapons against square dancing middle-aged women

04·01·2014

Battle of the Squares

Residents use 'non-lethal' weapons against square dancing middle-aged women

04·01·2014

Oh China’s middle aged dama and their obsession with blasting music on loud speakers in public squares… they have driven Chinese residents in every city to utter madness. China’s dama are middle-aged woman who are known to hector and annoy, not to mention dance in public parks and squares as part of their daily exercise routine. While the ladies seem to enjoy their mornings and evenings dancing, residents near the parks and squares are less than happy.

In desperate attempts to get their quiet evenings back, residents have released ferocious hounds into the dama‘s dancing squares, fired shotguns, and thrown poop and water bombs at them.  Most recently, a group of residents in Wenzhou, a city famous for its rich and gaudy tuhao, decided to team up and get militant on the pesky dama dancing next to their houses.

After many failed negotiations with the dama, more than 600 residents at Xinguoguang Shangzhu square chipped in to buy a high tech speaker system, according to Hangzhou Daily. The price tag on the audio system: 260,000 RMB. The system doesn’t cost that much for no reason. The speakers direct audio to a specific area at 125db from a 100-meter distance. It is referred to as a “new concept non-lethal weapon”, intended for dispersing crowds, sea patrol, and SWAT operations.

The residents near the square used the speaker system to broadcast a message to the stubborn dancing dama from 2 pm to 5 pm on March 29. The message was excruciatingly clear: stop the noise pollution.

The dama, unable to bear the speaker’s blast, left the square. For the first time in a long time, the residents finally have peace and quiet.

Why go to such drastic measures to get rid of dancing old ladies? The Xinguoguang Shangzhu square plaza suffers from more than 20 active dance troupes. The noise pollution is so severe that it even affects the building’s real estate pricing. Previously, the buildings value per square meter was 5,000 RMB more than buildings in the surrounding area. Now, the apartment’s value decreased to 3,000 RMB less than other apartment complexes. One apartment owner even had to send his son to his sister’s place, because the noise was too unbearable and difficult to tune out.

Wu, a resident, claims that they are only trying to elicit the government’s attention to solve the problem; however, Wu also stated that if the government chooses not to intervene, they vow to continue to use to speakers to solve the problem,  “when they play music, we’ll play it too,” he said.