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The Viral Week That Was: Criminal Kisses and Cheating Snacks

Thieving lovers kiss under surveillance, speed camera catches cheaters, breakup parody, sneaky snacks, and more

02·02·2015

The Viral Week That Was: Criminal Kisses and Cheating Snacks

Thieving lovers kiss under surveillance, speed camera catches cheaters, breakup parody, sneaky snacks, and more

02·02·2015

*The Viral Week That Was is our weekly round-up of the last week’s trending memes, humor, rumor, gossip, and everything else Chinese netizens are chatting about.

This week on The Viral Week That Was, we’ve got a pair of partners-in-more-than-just-crime whose love compelled them to kiss during their heist, which was then documented by a surveillance camera. A husband was caught cheating when his wife went to the police to pay for his speeding ticket. Netizens reminisce about the old days when snacks came in decent packaging. A man lip-synchs to a break-up video. And zoo animals celebrated the Laba Festival by devouring their “laba porridge” for good fortune.

1. Thief Duo Kiss During Crime

Two lovers kissed passionately in a jewelry store, yet little did they know that the store’s surveillance camera not only caught their love for each other, but their heist as well.

The owner of the jewelry store, Ms. Gong, in Zigong, Sichuan province, discovered on the 21st upon opening up the store that thieves had dropped by the previous night. According to media reports, Ms. Gong checked the surveillance footage, which showed a man and a woman entering the store at 10:38PM, who then picked up some accessories from racks, and opened up the cash register.

 

Before the couple exited the store with the fruits of their labor – around 2100 RMB and a couple of pieces of jewelry (which were among the least valuable items in the store, which shows that the thieves were unprofessional, according to Ms. Gong) – they were so rejoiced about getting cash that they started kissing like two lovers in a Hollywood movie, celebrating their crime like those classic crime duos.

 

2. Wife Finds Husband Cheating via Speeding Ticket

When a woman surnamed Xu got a speeding ticket about her car on her phone, she went to the police station to pay the fine, yet the snapshot showed her husband with his mistress in the front seat. The Qianjiang Evening News reports that Ms. Xu was shocked by the photo, and kept saying “how did this happen” before calling her husband. Her husband was shown the photo after arriving 20 minutes laterand was asked “Why are you still together? How did you promise me and guarantee that?” before his wife slapped him.

It turned out that Ms. Xu had already discovered her husband’s cheating, and her husband had promised to break it off and never see the mistress again. However, he took the mistress on a business trip – all of which was revealed by the speeding camera. If he wanted to keep it a secret, maybe he should’ve been more careful during the trip. There’s definitely a lesson to be learned somewhere. The article finished by saying that Ms. Xu “wiped away her tears, and vehemently told (the police) that she’d settle the account with her husband after going home”.

 

3. The Evolution of Snack Packaging

“Remember the days when…” is perhaps a phrase that comes with age. It applies to almost everything, including snacks. As netizens are saying sarcastically online: “Thank the brands for every single adjustment made so we don’t become too fat.”

snacks-before-and-after

 

 

4. Man Parodies “Why are You Breaking Up with Me?”

A hilarious video of a man lip-syncing to the already-viral-video “Why are you breaking up with me?” went even more viral than the original. If you are familiar with how Chinese girls throw temper tantrums, this girl takes it to the next level.

Dialogue (translated):

Girl: Why are you breaking up with me?!

Guy: Are you thirsty?

Girl: Answer me, why are you breaking up with me?!

Guy: Are you hungry?

Girl: Don’t ask me if I’m hungry! Why are you breaking up with me?!

Guy: Are you cold?

Girl: Do you love me or not?!

Guy: Turn the air-conditioner on

Girl: I don’t want the air-conditioner on! Who was the girl you watched the movie with last time?

Guy: My sister. 

Girl: You are lying! Who was the girl you ate with last time?

Guy: My unrelated sister.

Girl: You are lying! Who was the girl you walked the dog with?

Guy: My mom. 

Girl: You are lying again! I don’t care, I don’t care, I’m not breaking up with you. If you break up with me, I’ll kill myself and show you!

Guy: Then who was the guy you gave your phone number to at the club?

Girl: I am so faithful to you. Are you doubting me? Ok, I’m calling my mom now. (Mom! Happy mother’s day! Yes that asshole is sitting across from me, and suggesting a breakup.) I’m checking in and letting the world know you are a douchebag!

Here’s the original:

5. Zoo Animals’ Laba Day

On the traditional Chinese Laba Festival,  which fell on January 27th, a zoo in Qingdao decided to treat its animals to their own unique version of the Laba porridge, made out of carrots, red dates, raisins, apples, and corn. The pictures proved as appetizing to web users as the food did for the animals.

Ring-tailed lemurs eating their "laba porridge"

Ring-tailed lemurs eating their “laba porridge”

 

Ring-tailed lemurs eating their "laba porridge"

Ring-tailed lemurs eating their “laba porridge”

Goats digging into their "porridge"

Goats digging into their “porridge”

Hippos

Hippos enjoying the meal