Welcome back all to the first Viral Week of the new Chinese year. After the long break, we return bringing you the weird and wonderful that you probably missed. Coming up today, we have extreme anti-theft measures, a speedy alternative to escalators and elevators, lighting up Valentine’s Day, and an efficient way to doze on subways. But first…
NEW YEAR’S HELL
Many of you no doubt spent the holiday with your family and friends, drinking baijiu and watching the atrocious programming that is the Spring Festival Gala.
However, not everyone was fortunate enough to be able to watch such terrible programming.
Wang Huanzhen, a 63 year-old woman in Sichuan Province, went missing a few days before New Year’s when she went out with her husband to collect firewood. When her husband returned home alone, he immediately notified the proper authorities.
The family spent Chinese New Year searching for Wang, including in the adjacent towns, but failed to find her.
Then on February 10, a shepherd was passing through an industrial park when he heard the feeble cries of an injured woman. He eventually found Wang, who had tripped and fallen down a well. She was rescued and taken to the local hospital, having suffered a fractured right leg and rib.
According to Wang, she managed to stave off dehydration for over a week by chewing tree bark and drinking her own urine—please refrain from any jokes about how you would rather drink urine than baijiu.
You will be happy know that Wang is now back with her family, recovering well, and will be telling this CNY story for years to come.
NO THIEVES ALLOWED
A paranoid homeowner in Yantai, Shandong Province, has made his house an online sensation by outfitting it will copious amounts of steel.
This human-appropriate birdcage is covered in bars, including inside the windows.
While, at first glance, it may seem to be an overly-extravagant method to keep out burglars, it has not been confirmed whether it is truly designed to keep people out, or in fact, constructed to keep people in.
Shopping is often a black and white activity. You either love the experience or can’t stand it, partaking only out of necessity.
In an attempt to make this pastime more fun and alleviate traffic on escalators and elevators, a mall in Shanghai has designed this extra large ride.
Starting from the fifth floor, shoppers can slide their way all the way to the first floor within seconds.
The slide officially opens in March, but plenty of people online are somewhat concerned about the safety of the slide.
MAKING YOU LOOK BAD
Valentine’s Day this year managed to fall perfectly on the first day back at work, making men in China pleased at the possibility of having an excuse to not prepare something, but cry at the realization that no excuse would be enough.
Those struggling should take a lesson from this gentleman in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province.
Qiao Dela, at the sprightly age of 84, organized a light show displayed by a building for his wife of 67 years Liu Shixiu, 83.
With his wife dressed in a wedding gown for the first time, Qiao and Liu show that it’s not just young couples that can make grand gestures of love.
After a long day of work, the first thing most of us want to do is to catch our breath and maybe even take a short nap. However, commuting home can delay the commencement of such desires.
Not for this lady.
Yang was photographed asleep on the subway in Chongqing thanks to the use of her scarf. She said this method had been adapted from her mother’s technique for relieving spinal pressure—though one cannot help but suspect a certain Mr Grey and his 50 Shades had a hand in it.
Unsurprisingly the authorities have come out to condemn this act, saying that in the event of an emergency stop or accident, the consequences could be severe.
So if you were thinking of implementing such snooze techniques on your next commute, reconsider and save it for a more appropriate location.
Catch up on last week’s Viral Week here.
Cover image from China Daily