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The Viral Week That Was: Ep 85

Zombies spread from Beijing to Chengdu, long march remembered, and an angry sex brawl

10·24·2016

The Viral Week That Was: Ep 85

Zombies spread from Beijing to Chengdu, long march remembered, and an angry sex brawl

10·24·2016

*The Viral Week That Was is our weekly round-up of the previous week’s trending memes, humor, rumor, gossip, and everything else Chinese netizens are chatting about. Think of this as a nicotine patch to help ease yourself into the working week after suckling on the smokey teat of the weekend.

Welcome back to the Viral Week. Coming up in today’s issue, we bring you topical WeChat stickers for the Long March, Starbucks’ plan for Chinese domination, thieves all tied up, and Halloween costume disapproval in Chengdu. But first…

 

TOO LOUD

At a hotel in Beihai, Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, a group of businessmen were sleeping soundly in preparation for a meeting early next morning.

Unfortunately for one individual, Zhang, he was rudely awakened by noises coming from another room nearby.

It turns out that the sounds Zhang was hearing came from a man called Lei and his female companion in the throes of all-too-passionate love making. Zhang immediately left his room to bang on Lei’s door (there’s a joke here somewhere).

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I’ll let you figure out what the joke is [NetEase]

Soon all of Zhang’s colleagues were awake complaining, but Lei refused to stop and instead hurled expletives at the gathering crowd. Finally, frustrated with the lack of action, Zhang kicked down the door and dragged Lei out. A fight began and only ended once the authorities had arrived.

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Looks like Lei is winning [NetEase]

In the end, Zhang admitted that his actions were a bit too much (and out of jealousy?) and paid Lei 15,000 RMB in compensation.

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Will refrain from making the obvious comment [NetEase]

 

SOLDIER STICKER

October marks the anniversary of the Long March, the strategic retreat of the Red Army that led to the rise of this guy.

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Seems familiar… [zol.com.cn]

And in celebration, a certain fresh-faced boy has been making the rounds on WeChat and other social media.

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Through wind and rain [China Daily]

A sticker collection of this Red Army soldier has been gaining popularity amongst users as a way to both express themselves and show their support of the Long March anniversary.

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Love and happiness [China Daily]

So what are you waiting for? Download now and show off to all your comrades today.

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But don’t forget to study [China Daily]

BUCKIES HORDE

Have you ever walked around the hutongs of Beijing and thought to yourself: This place could be better if there was a Starbucks here.

You have?

Well, Starbucks have plans to make this happen.

According to CNN, the Seattle-based coffee giant aims to have five thousand stores open by 2021. This equates to around one new store per day for the next five years—good news for lovers of branded-coffee, bad news for lovers of Chinese heritage.

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Click here to find out the outcome of this Starbucks

 

ALL TIED UP

Three teenage thieves were caught stealing from a store by the owner at 4am recently. When the owner, Rao, asked for their parents’ contact information, the boys refused. Rao then decided to tie the teenagers to the street railings and write on their faces the sentence “I’m a thief”.

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…and then took some photos for his collection [People’s Daily]

One of the boys managed to escape at 6am, but it wasn’t until 8am that they were all freed when passersby saw the scene and called the police.

Investigations are still ongoing, but latest reports say that the two boys were sent home and Rao was detained. Meanwhile, the fate of the escapee is unknown and it is assumed that he will have some explaining to do to his (former?) friends.

 

ZOMBIE VIRUS SPREADS

All Hallows’ Evening is right around the corner but some celebrations have already started. Just last weekend, we saw Happy Valley amusement park in Beijing host a zombie outbreak and now the virus has spread all the way to Chengdu, Sichuan Province.

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At least they seem to be in good spirits [Weibo]

With South Korean movie Train to Busan in mind, these bloody young people, hopped onto the Chengdu Metro, presumably to increase their population.

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They’re coming to get you [Weibo]

Unfortunately, Chengdu Metro was not impressed and soon issued this statement.

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Good advice for life [Weibo]

Many Weibo users agreed with this sentiment, citing the effects on children and the elderly as possible reasons for concern.

 

Missed last week’s? Here it is!

Cover image from Weibo